我撞上了秋天
I Have Run Head-on into Autumn
郁達夫
Yu Dafu
我撞上了秋天
I Have Run Head-on into Autumn
郁達夫
Yu Dafu
今夏漫長的炎熱裡，凌晨那段時間大概最舒服。就養成習慣，天一亮，鐵定是早上四點半左右，就該我起床，或者入睡了。
Because early morning is the most pleasant time of the day in this long, hot summer, I have developed a habit of getting up or going to bed at daybreak, which is around four thirty, for sure.
這是我的生活規律。
That is the pattern of my life.
但是昨晚睡得早，十一點左右。醒來一看，天還沒亮，正想繼續睡去，突然覺得蚊子的嗡嗡和空氣的流動有些特別，不像是濃釅的午夜，一看錶，果不其然，已經五點了。
But last night, I went to bed earlier, at about eleven o’clock. When I wake up, it is still dark outside. I am about to go back to sleep when I suddenly become aware of the unusualness in the buzz of mosquitoes and the flow of the air. They don’t seem to be happening during the thick darkness of midnight! Looking at my watch, I find it already five o’clock, as I have expected.
爬起來，把自個兒擼擼乾淨了，走出我那煙熏火燎的房間，剛剛步出樓道，我就讓秋天狠狠撞了個斤斗。
After rolling out of bed and rushing through my morning routine, I walk out of my room, which is as hot and smoky as a kitchen. No sooner have I stepped out of the halfway than I run head-on into autumn, almost to be knocked back!
先是一陣風，施施然襲來，像一幅碩大無朋的裙裾，不由分說就把我從頭到腳擠了一遍，擠牙膏似的，立馬我的心情就暢快無比。我在夏天總沒冬天那麼活力洋溢，就是一個腦子清醒的問題。秋天要先來給我解決一下，何樂不為。
First comes the wind, slowly, like a huge fluttering skirt, caressing me from head to toe. Like toothpaste being squeezed, I feel an immediate, thorough relief in my heart. I am not as energetic in the summer as I am in the winter, mainly due to the lucidness of my mind. Now, an earlier autumn has come to resolve my problem. Why not go with it?
壓迫整整一夏的天空突然變得很高，抬頭望去——無數爛銀也似的小白雲整整齊齊排列在純藍天幕上，越看越調皮，越看越像長在我心中的那些可愛的靈氣，我恨不得把它們輕輕抱下來吃上兩口。我在天空上看到一張臉。想起這首很久以前寫的歌，心境已經大不相同了，人也已經老了許多——人老了麼？我就一直站在那裡看，看個沒完沒了，我要看得它慢慢消失，慢慢而堅固地存放在我這裡。
The sky that has borne me down throughout the whole summer has suddenly lifted. Looking up, I see numerous small-sized clouds, as white as sterling silver, neatly lined up in the limpidly blue sky. The more I gaze at them, the more they look naughty and resemble my innate inspirations. How I wish I could bring them down and take a few bites at them! I now remember a song I wrote quite a while ago, I See a Face in the Sky, but now my mood is quite different from what it was then, and I am also much older –am I? So I stand there looking at those clouds. I want to continue looking at them – until they slowly disappear and are firmly implanted in my mind.
來來往往的人開始多了，有人像我一樣看，那是比較浪漫的，我祝福他們；有人奇怪地看我一眼，快步離去，我也祝福他們，因為他們在為了什麼忙碌。生命就是這樣，你總要做些什麼，或者感受些什麼，這兩種過程都值得尊敬，不能怠慢。就如同我，要堅守陣地，如同一隻蒼老的羚羊，冷靜地廝守在我的網絡，那些罈子的鋼絲邊緣上。六點鐘就很好了，園門口就有汁多味美的鮮肉大包子，厚厚一層紅亮辣油翠綠香菜，還星星般點綴著薰幹大頭菜的豆腐腦，還有如同貓一樣熱情的油條，如同美麗嫻靜女友般的豆漿，還有知心好友一樣外焦裡嫩熨貼心肺的大蔥燙麵油餅。
There are more and more passers-by. Some of them look up into the sky, like me – those are romantic types and I bless them; some of them give me a weird look and then hurry away – those are people whom I bless too, because they have a purpose to be busy. This is what life should be like: you have to do something or feel something. Each of these two choices is respectable and cannot be taken lightly. This is just like me at the moment: I now stand my ground. Like an old antelope, I have to be cool-headed in holding myself in my own territory, next to the earthen wares and the wire fences. Everything will be alright by six o’clock, when by the park gate, there will be vendors selling delicious and succulent minced pork dumplings, to go with jellied tofu soup thickly dressed with fresh green parsley over brightly red chili oil and loosely dotted with chopped, smoked turnips. And there will also be deep-fried dough sticks as hot-tempered as felines, soybean milk as demure as a lovely girlfriend, and crispy-crusted, tender-hearted, green-onion-flavored pancakes as intimate as a bosom friend.
這裡這些鱗次櫛比的房屋，每個窗戶後面都有故事，或者在我這裡發生過，或者是現在我想聽的。每個夢遊的男人都和我一樣不肯消停，每個睡裙的女人都被愛過或者正在愛著，每個老人都很豐富，每個孩子都很新鮮。每條小狗都很生動，每隻鴿子都很乖巧。每個早晨都要這樣，雖然我已經不同以往，總是幻想奇遇，總是渴望付出烈火般的激情，又總是被乖戾的現實玩耍，被今天這難得的天氣從狂熱中喚醒。我已經不孤單了，是吧。
Of all the houses tightly lined up here, every window has behind it a story that I have also experienced or that I am interested in hearing; every sleepwalking man cannot help fidgeting like me and every woman in pajamas has been loved or is now in love; every old man is rich with experiences and every child fresh; every dog is animated and every pigeon keen. Every morning I do the same thing, although I am now different from before, always dreaming of unusual encounters and always wishing to inspire fervent passions, yet always being fooled by peevish reality and awakened from fanatical visions by such unusual weather, like today. I am now no longer lonely. Right?
就是這個孤單，像一床棉被，蓋在很高的高空，隨著我房間人數的變化，或低落，或俯衝，或緊纏，或飄揚。美倒是美，狠了點兒，我知道。
This loneliness is like a padded cotton quilt, spread out high in the sky. It can be depressing, descending, entwining, or uplifting, depending on the change in the number of people who share my room. Beautiful, isn’t it? Yes, but a little cruel, I know.
噫吁戲，我的北京，昨天交通管制的北京，今年全國夏季氣溫最高的北京，用這樣清麗的秋天撞擊我神經的北京，把我的生活徹底弄亂，把我的故事徹底展開，把我仔細地鋪成一張再造白紙的北京啊。
Wow, my Beijing, the one that just had a traffic control yesterday, the one that has had the highest temperature in the country this summer, the one that has revitalized my nerves with a fresh autumn, and the one that has thoroughly disordered my life, completely unfolded my story, and carefully turned me into a new paper to write the story on!
（徐英才 譯）