1. Speak Less, Ask More
少說,多問
Those who are great with people don’t necessary have the gift-of-gab, but rather, are great at asking questions. One of the most important social skills you can develop is the ability to ask questions; not in an interrogating way, but in the way that will help you understand people better and strengthen your relationship with them. People love talking about themselves, so asking questions that trigger memories; cause them to give their opinion; or ask for advice, will put you in the driver’s seat by allowing them to be the center of the conversation.
那些偉大的人沒有必要有口才,而是善於問問題。最重要的一個社交技巧之一是你可以培養問問題的能力;不是以詢問的方式,而是,以將幫助您更好地理解他人,加強你與他們的關係的方式。人們喜歡談論他們自己,所以提問引發回憶,讓他們給你意見,或尋求建議,會讓你在驅動者的位置,通過讓他們成為談話的中心。
2. Celebrate Their Wins
慶祝他們的勝利
When someone shares great news with you, instead of dismissing it, sharing good news of your own, or even bashing their good news — celebrate their win by being genuinely excited for them.
當有人和你分享好消息,不是否定它,而是分享自己的好消息,甚至抨擊他們的好消息——慶祝他們的勝利,為他們真誠地開心。
3. Lock-in On Group Settings
在組織設置中鎖定
For many, the group setting is the perfect opportunity to pull back, check their phone, and zone out of the conversation–but not you. Pay close attention in a group setting, you’ll be able to learn how to connect with others by what they say, how they say it, and even what people choose not to say. Be aware of who likes to lead the conversation, what people like to talk about, and if someone is being excluded from the conversation.
對許多人來說,該組織設置是一個後退的完美的機會,檢查他們的手機,和讓交談變得渾然無知,但不是對於你。密切關注組織設置,你就可以學習如何與他人通過他們說什麼,他們怎麼說,甚至人們選擇不說什麼。知道誰喜歡發起談話,人們喜歡談論什麼,如果有人被排除在談話中。
4. Make Eye Contact — Or Not
眼神交流與否
On a daily basis you are bombarded with distractions competing for one of your most precious resources–your attention. Making eye contact with the person you are speaking with face-to-face is an outward expression that you are confident and fully engaged with that person. However, if someone isn’t looking making eye contact with you, before you jump to conclusions, be aware that it may be culturally unacceptable for them to do so; they are intimidated by you; or it makes them uncomfortable.
每天你狂轟濫炸分心爭奪你最寶貴的資源之一，你的注意。與人眼神交流與面對面說話是一種外在表現,你的自信和充分參與到那個人的談話中。然而,如果有人不希望與你眼神接觸,過早下結論之前,要知道,我們的文化可以接受他們這樣做;他們受到你的威脅,或者讓他們感到不舒服。
5. Show Positive Body Language
顯示積極的肢體語言
You can project confidence, kindness, and leadership just by the way you carry yourself. Keep your head up, shoulders back, and chest out. We learn from Dr. Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk, “Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are“, that how you carry yourself can impact how you think and feel about yourself–so get big!
你可以增強你的自信,善良,和領導力僅僅通過你自己的方式。保持抬頭,挺胸,收腹。我們從艾米.卡迪博士的TED演講中學到,“你的身體語言的形成你是誰”,你把自己表現得如何影響你如何認為自己是個什麼樣的人,所以讓自己變得偉大!
6. Pay Attention To The Little Things
關注小事情
Life is hard. And many people are going through life in quiet desperation with little or no support from family or friends. The problem is, people are so good at hiding it, that they give off the impression that everything is good in their life and they don’t need help. Keep in mind that people have lives outside of work, school, and other places you seed them. A simple awareness of others’ body language, behavior, and facial expressions will give you insight into how things are really going for them.
生活是困難的。許多人在安靜的絕望中與很少或沒有家人和朋友的支持中經歷生活。問題是,人們善於隱藏 ,他們給人的印象是,他們的生活一切好,他們不需要幫助。記住,人們工作，學習以外的生活,你可以在其他地方發現蹤跡。對別人的肢體語言,行為,和麵部表情的一個簡單的認識會給你瞭解事情的真相。
7. Praise People’s Strengths
讚美別人的優勢
One way to bring the best out of someone is to praise their strengths. Could you imagine how you would respond if someone came up to you and said, “Just so you know, your ability to [insert strength] is incredible. I wish I was more like that.” Giving praise to someone else is a sign of confidence on your part, and a tremendous confidence builder for the other person.
激發的最好的一個方法是讚揚別人的長處。你能想象你會如何迴應如果有人走過來對你說,“正如你所知道的,你嵌入的能力是不可思議的的力量。我希望我比你說的還好。給別人讚美你是自信的標誌,也是為別人培養自信的好榜樣。