「鍵盤俠」球爹稱湖人再不能奪冠｜這個“麻煩”現在是鵜鶘的了
Lonzo Ball's father on the Lakers trading his son: "I guarantee...it will be the worst move the Lakers ever did in their life and they will never win another championship. Guarantee it.".
郎佐-鮑爾的父親對湖人送走鮑爾的交易感到憤怒：“我保證，這將是湖人有史以來最糟糕的交易，他們再也不會贏得總冠軍了，我保證！”
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[–]76ers mc_315 1147 points 11 hours ago
he guarantees it
76人球迷：他保證了！
[–]Rockets cucuyu 2 points 8 hours ago
Good news is that he is always wrong
火箭球迷：好就好在球爹總是錯的。
[–][OKC] Russell Westbrook BBallHunter 53 points 12 hours ago
Great, now they'll win.
雷霆球迷：這下好了，湖人要奪冠了。
[–]Kaldricus 8 points 11 hours ago
Honestly, I hope the Lakers win next year solely because of this comment lol
講真，我希望湖人下賽季奪冠，純粹就因為球爹的言論，哈哈哈
[–]Mavericks rustic_counter 2 points 5 hours ago
Lavar Ball. The Donald Trump of sports.
獨行俠球迷：拉瓦爾-鮑爾，體育界的特朗普。
[–]Heat Number333 966 points 11 hours ago
I remember when Dan Gilbert said the Cavs would win a title before LeBron LMAO
熱火球迷：我想起了當初丹-吉爾伯特說騎士會在詹姆斯之前贏得總冠軍，哈哈哈哈（遙想當年詹姆斯做出”決定一“的時候，騎士老闆便放言沒有詹姆斯的騎士將比詹姆斯更早一步奪得冠軍！）
[–]winter-r0se 302 points 11 hours ago
and pat riley said bron wouldn’t win after the heatles
萊利還說過詹姆斯離開熱火後不會再奪冠呢
[–]Heat MostFroyo 61 points 10 hours ago*
Not sure where you pulled that from but he never said anything like that.
熱火球迷：不確定你是從哪兒看到的，不過萊利從未說過這種話。
[–]Raptors Cheesegrater74 2237 points 12 hours ago
The dude beat jordan 1 on 1 so he knows what hes talking about when it comes to winning championships
猛龍球迷：老鮑爾是能在1v1中擊敗喬丹的人，所以說到奪冠這種事，他知道自己在說啥。
[–]Cavaliers A_Salt_Potato 26 points 8 hours ago
NEVA LOST
騎士球迷：畢竟單挑喬丹“保持不敗”！
[–]jtgamenut 492 points 11 hours ago
With his arms tied behind his back
而且雙手還綁在背後
[–][DET] Allen Iverson ArmVanDam 296 points 12 hours ago
Lavar's in grief denial stage
活塞球迷：老鮑爾現在處於自我否認傷痛期。
[–]Lakers CHINESE_HOTTIE 79 points 8 hours ago
that man is always in nonstop delusional stage
湖人球迷：他總是處於沒完沒了的妄想期。
[–]Lakers iStanley 23 points 6 hours ago
Honestly he’s just trolling. In the video he even looks like he’s about to break character and bust out laughing from the ridiculous shit he’s saying lmao
湖人球迷：說實話他就是在噴。你看那個採訪視頻，貌似他差點繃不住要笑出來了，因為他確實是一派胡言，哈哈哈
[–]92tilinfinityand 1740 points 10 hours ago
If Lonzo gets traded to the Bulls we are going to hear Lavar claim Lonzo will go down as the greatest Bull in history... with no irony at all.
如果鮑爾被送到公牛，那我們就會聽到他爹說自己的兒子會成為史上最偉大的公牛球員……沒一點諷刺的意思啊
[–]spyirl 8 points 4 hours ago
Lavar already said he's better than MJ
畢竟球爹說過，他比喬丹還強。
[–][CHI] Cameron Payne mcreschicago 444 points 8 hours ago
Wouldn’t even care tbh. Keep acting crazy so Lonzo’s trade value tanks and the Bulls can sweep in.
公牛球迷：老實說我壓根不在意。他就繼續這麼胡扯就好，這樣的話，小鮑爾的交易價值就會縮水，然後我牛就能趁火打劫了。
[–]Bucks Kevin_Jim 2 points an hour ago
The Bulls definitely need a PG. Honestly, it would be a good move.
雄鹿球迷：公牛確實需要一個控衛。要是鮑爾去的話，那會是一筆很棒的交易。
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[–][LAL] Kobe Bryant NotARealPenguinToday 4126 points 11 hours ago
He's yours now NO!
湖人球迷：他現在是你們的了，新奧爾良！
[–]SonofNamek 2848 points 11 hours ago
Lavar: When I said Lonzo will win in LA, I meant Louisiana.
老鮑爾：我之前說我兒會在LA建功立業，我指的是路易斯安娜。
[–]Pelicans Generic-username427 1121 points 11 hours ago
I'll allow it
鵜鶘球迷：我接受。
[–]Lakers Pardonme23 337 points 9 hours ago
Please don't convince yourself that his shooting motion is good. You'll know what I mean in due time.
湖人球迷：拜託哦，不要強行說服自己覺得鮑爾的投籃動作很好哦，你到時候就會知道我什麼意思了。
[–]Cavaliers WordUp27 266 points 8 hours ago
I dont think he needs your advice, Even Helen Keller would think its a bad shooting form.
騎士球迷：我覺得他不需要你的建議，就連海倫-凱勒都能看出鮑爾的投籃姿勢很差。
[–]WildYams 155 points 11 hours ago
Are the Pels gonna sign LiAngelo now?
鵜鶘現在要籤二球了嗎？
[–]Pelicans SaintsBeatEagles 190 points 11 hours ago
Another addition to a promising defensive group
鵜鶘球迷：那將是我們這套防守實力可期的陣容的又一補強。
[–]Jsussuhshs 145 points 10 hours ago
Steals/turnovers ratio is literally off the charts.
那搶斷（也有偷竊之意）失誤比真要破紀錄了。
[–]2011_finals_lebron 79 points 10 hours ago
I don't know, Im pretty sure he had to turn the stolen goods back over when he got caught, call it 1:1.
搞不清楚，我記得他之前“搶斷”貨物失手被抓之後又被迫還回去了啊，這個搶斷失誤比是1吧。
[–][MIA] Hassan Whiteside heatup631 23 points 9 hours ago
he’s still young. he’ll improve
熱火球迷：他還年輕嘛，會進步的。
[–]Spurs kawhi_tho 302 points 11 hours ago
I mean his dad may be crazy but I still think Lonzo is gonna be a great player
馬刺球迷：我覺得吧，鮑爾他爹雖說瘋言瘋語，可是我還是認為鮑爾以後會很優秀。
[–][LAL] Kobe Bryant NotARealPenguinToday 194 points 11 hours ago
I do too, he wouldn't be part of a trade if he was a scrub
湖人球迷：我也是這麼覺得的，要是他不行的話也不會被納入交易之中。
[–]sigma5219 77 points 9 hours ago
Lonzo would be a perennial all-star if he didn't have a garbage jumper and a horrendous FT %.
鮑爾要不是跳投水罰球菜的話，是可以常年進入全明星的。
[–]MythicalGnome 318 points 9 hours ago
That's true for like half the league though.
不過你這話放到全聯盟一半的球員身上都適用啊
[–]Celtics Sway40 264 points 9 hours ago
“Take away the two worst qualities of this player, and they’d be an all star!!”
凱爾特人球迷：“把這個球員最菜的兩個技能拿走，他會成為全明星的！”
[–]Pacers haroldthegiraffe 90 points 8 hours ago
Doug McDermott would be a perennial all star if he could play man defense and handle the ball effectively
步行者球迷：麥克德莫特要是能有正常人的防守，而且高效處理球的話，他會常年進入全明星的
[–]Warriors manisier 61 points 6 hours ago
Isaiah Thomas would be an MVP if he was 7 feet tall
勇士球迷：小托馬斯要是有2.13米，他就是MVP。
[–]Bulls anti_dan 14 points 6 hours ago
This is insulting to IT. He would easily win 5 MVPs. Even with the bad hip.
That's how sick being 7" is.
公牛球迷：你這話也太看不起小托馬斯了。要真那樣的話，他會輕鬆拿到5個MVP，哪怕臀部有傷也不在話下。2.13的他就是這麼變態。
[–]Knicks Galactic 45 points 8 hours ago
Yeah "Giannis would be GOAT if he had a jumper". That's a big fuckin IF. How many players have entered the league with no jumper and ascended into greatness by suddenly developing a consistent jumper? Like 5? In 50+ years?
尼克斯球迷：“字母哥要是跳投很強的話就會是歷史最強”。這種說法就特麼是意淫。那些進入聯盟時沒有跳投然後穩定開發出這項技能且走向偉大的球員有多少？這50多年裡能有5個？
[–]MythicalGnome 25 points 8 hours ago
Not many. Lonzo's shot is not gonna just magically become elite percentage wise. It rarely happens. Most true shooters show that gift by 18 to 21 at worst.
I couldn't really name someone as bad as Lonzo that improved to all-star type player in shooting. I'm sure they might be out there IDK.
並不多。鮑爾的投籃不會劇變成頂尖水準的。這種情況幾乎沒有。大多數真正的射手至少在18到21歲就展現出了這方面的天賦。至於說一開始投籃和鮑爾一樣菜最後進步成全明星類型的球員，我還真說不出誰的名字。我相信或許有這樣的人，說不清。
[–]Bucks FisterMantasticPHD 29 points 6 hours ago
Blake Griffin went from shooting less than 20% from three on only half an attempt a game to shooting 36% on 7 attempts per game.
雄鹿球迷：格林芬最初的三分命中率還不到20%，場均出手0.5次，後面就提升到了36%，場均出手7次。
[–]DancinginAshes 14 points 7 hours ago
Olajuwon......and a select few others. I believe the key is that they have to spend their offseasons working on the jumper rather than doing whatever it is they do that doesn't improve their jumper.
奧拉朱旺也算……還有幾個人。我覺得關鍵在於他們必須在休賽期苦練跳投，而不是做一些與跳投無關的事。
[–][OKC] Russell Westbrook Reflectional_rectum 170 points 9 hours ago
the pelicans are going to be what everyone thought the Timberwolves would be
雷霆球迷：鵜鶘會成為大家當初眼中森林狼的樣子。
[–]Timberwolves chromeelephant 21 points 7 hours ago
You're just mad because the worst player in the league suddenly becomes a superstar and dad dicks you guys every time we play you
森林狼球迷：你就是氣急敗壞，因為我們每次打你們的時候，聯盟最水球員突然間化身超巨吊打你們。
[–][LAL] Julius Randle NickVanExellence 193 points 8 hours ago
As long as nobody decides to Wigg out
湖人球迷：只要這支鵜鶘沒人維金斯化就行。
[–]West BROCKHAMPTOM 86 points 8 hours ago
Ingram lmao
英格拉姆，哈哈哈哈
[–][LAL] Pau Gasol Litsazor 79 points 8 hours ago
From what i see in Lakers, Ingram is very hardworking. As long as he stays healthy he will keep improving.
湖人球迷：就我在湖人的觀察來說，英格拉姆還是非常拼的。只要他身體健康，他就會繼續進步的。
[–]Supersonics yesmam420 35 points 8 hours ago
Nah bro Ingram is a baller. Did u see him post all star break ?
超音速球迷：鶯歌可是很猛的。沒看過他在全明星之後的那波表現嗎？
[–]Real-2-Real 56 points 7 hours ago
Did you see Wiggins post all star break at the same age Ingram is now?
那你看過維金斯在鶯歌這個年紀的時候在全明星之後的表現嗎？
[–]Lakers spyson 16 points 5 hours ago
Yeah, and Brandon is a much better defensive player.
湖人球迷：當然啊，鶯歌的防守可要強太多了。
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[–]Nuggets chingy1337 64 points 12 hours ago
Oh shut the fuck up dude. Can't you see how you're fucking up your son's career?
掘金球迷：閉上你這張臭嘴吧，夥計。難道你沒看到你正在破壞你兒子的職業生涯？
[–]Troll_Sauce 58 points 11 hours ago
Dudes got a Kardashian sized ego with all of the ass in the wrong place.
老鮑爾的自我感覺和卡戴珊一樣好，只不過他的巨臀長錯了地方。
[–]Klowraptors95 24 points 10 hours ago
Since I heard the trade went down I have been waiting for a salty Lavar reaction
自打我聽到湖人和鵜鶘的交易之後，就一直在等著老鮑爾出來酸。
[–]Hornets SSNappa 909 points 12 hours ago
The curse has been placed
黃蜂球迷：詛咒已經下了。
[–][BOS] Kevin Garnett echsandwich 189 points 12 hours ago
Rip the Lakers, can't escape the Big Baller Curse now
凱爾特人球迷：安息吧湖人，你們現在逃脫不了老鮑的詛咒。
[–]Nets Lambchops_Legion 45 points 11 hours ago
gonna draft LaMelo next year
籃網球迷：明年選三球就好了。
[–]KjITNWILA123321 371 points 12 hours ago
What happened to Lonzo winning ROY and leading the Lakers to the playoffs?
他當初說他兒子拿下最佳新秀帶領湖人衝進季後賽後會咋樣來著？
[–]Knicks little_shit_timmy 272 points 11 hours ago
if he wasn’t injured for most of last season he would have carried the lakers to the finals and then bron comes back from groin injury and finishes the raptors in the finals
尼克斯球迷：要是小鮑上賽季沒那麼多傷，他本能扛著湖人進入總決賽，然後老詹從腹股溝傷勢中復出，在總決賽裡了斷猛龍。
[–]Pelicans gogglesup859 71 points 11 hours ago
He also said that LiAngelo was better than Zion but here we are.
鵜鶘球迷：老鮑之前還說二球比錫安強呢，可我們還不是有了今天。
[–]Aymase 76 points 10 hours ago
And with the first pick in the NBA draft, the New Orleans Pelicans select... LiAngelo Ball!
你們拿著選秀的狀元籤，然後鵜鶘在選秀大會上選中了……二球！！！
[–]Pelicans gogglesup859 88 points 10 hours ago
When you have an opportunity to sign the lowest rated member of the 2017 UCLA recruiting class, you just can't pass it up.
鵜鶘球迷：畢竟人家是2017年那屆UCLA球員裡排名最低的，你要是有機會簽下他，那可不能錯過！
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[–]Pistons rando1817 1019 points 12 hours ago
Lol
活塞球迷：哈哈哈哈哈
[–][TOR] OG Anunoby KlawMVP 581 points 12 hours ago
Lmao he said if you get the 3 ball brothers you can survive this
猛龍球迷：哈哈，他說要是你能集齊球家三兄弟，你就能求得生存。
[–]NBA urfaselol 1257 points 12 hours ago
we need to unban LaVar.
咱們這個論壇必須得解禁“拉瓦爾”。
[–][BOS] Jaylen Brown OrangeKookie 440 points 12 hours ago
for the offseason at least
凱爾特人球迷：至少休賽期可以。
[–]NBA urfaselol 313 points 12 hours ago
"LaVar Ball" gets autofiltered in this subreddit which is why "Lonzo Ball's Father" is in the title of this post lol
“拉瓦爾-鮑爾”這個名字被論壇自動過濾掉了，所以這篇帖子的標題裡用的是“朗佐-鮑爾的父親”，哈哈哈哈哈
[–]Lakers MightBeJerryWest 132 points 12 hours ago
Lmao I love the “Lonzo Ball’s Father”
湖人球迷：哈哈，我喜歡“鮑爾他爸”這個稱呼
[–][LAL] Lonzo Ball KingOfAllTheQuarters 179 points 11 hours ago
My favorite was, “Lonzo’s cousin’s uncle”
湖人球迷：我最喜歡的是“鮑爾表哥他叔”
[–]Mavericks lalakingmalibog 58 points 10 hours ago
And we are all his nephews
獨行俠球迷：我們都是他侄子。
[–]Cavaliers SaxRohmer 16 points 11 hours ago
Nah that clown doesn’t need any attention. That’s all he tries to do.
騎士球迷：不，不能給那個小丑熱度了，這就是他的目的。
[–][ATL] Paul Millsap Jfklikeskfc 162 points 12 hours ago
Oh how you all forget
老鷹球迷：你們咋能這麼健忘呢
[–][LAL] Lonzo Ball SDF05 76 points 11 hours ago
People forget everything when the Lakers don't have them anymore. Just wait for the critical analysis of why the Lakers such by giving away Lonzo and Ingram for nothing.
湖人球迷：只要那人不是湖人的人了，大家就會很健忘。你們就等著看吧，會有人出來噴我湖為啥要平白無故放走鮑爾和鶯歌的。
[–][ATL] Paul Millsap Jfklikeskfc 94 points 11 hours ago
Lmao in the trade post people were already boosting lonzo and Ingram like they hadn’t been shitting on them their entire pro careers
老鷹球迷：笑死我了，你們這筆交易之後已經有人開始吹鮑爾和鶯歌了，那些人搞得好像之前沒噴過他倆一樣。
[–]stepback-one 92 points 11 hours ago
Crazily enough, this sub is actually a collection of individuals with a variety of occasionally opposing opinions. Wild, I know.
扯得很，這個論壇真的是一幫自我觀點對立的個體的集合地。很偏激，我懂。
[–]Lakers Gristle__McThornbody 80 points 12 hours ago
I would be willing to give up three more first rounders if it meant getting rid of Lavar. His 15 minutes are up.
湖人球迷：要是我的話，如果能處理掉老鮑爾，我願意再加三個首輪籤。他的熱度也到頭了。
[–]Bucks energizerbunny11 17 points 10 hours ago
I love Lonzo out of LA solely so there's less opportunity for a mike to be in this dude's face
雄鹿球迷：我希望鮑爾離開洛杉磯，僅僅因為這樣一來，他爹就沒那麼多機會在媒體面前拋頭露面了。
[–]T0PCHee5e 26 points 9 hours ago
What's almost as confusing to me is all the people who came out saying "lavar is just a father who loves his sons". Give me a fucking break. That's the biggest load of reductive horse shit to me.
很讓我懵逼的是，很多人還出來說啥“老鮑的所作所為只是一個父親疼愛兒子的表現”。可特麼消停點吧。這是我聽過最扯淡的話。
[–]West side_Easy 15 points 7 hours ago
Exactly. "I'm not helping Lonzo with his free throws because the Lakers don't pay me for it." I hate that shit. You do that out of love for your son. Nothing more, nothing less. Lavar's a fucking leech.
就是。“我不會幫我兒練罰球，因為湖人沒給我錢。”這是什麼狗屁，你愛你兒子就要幫他啊，沒有其他的理由。老鮑就特麼是隻寄生蟲。
[–]batteryramdar 167 points 11 hours ago*
this man was always a clown. The media embraced him for a little bit because he brought good ratings. He cost his middle son a shot at UCLA and Melo might not even make the league. BBB was a waste of time and Zo should have aimed for a 100+ million Nike endorsement, and then flipped that money into billions the way everyone else tries to do it: investing in startups. Competing with Nike/Addidas is a huge waste of time. In a few years, when Zo is washed up and the other two never even played a minute in the NBA, we'll look back on an attention hungry father whose 15 minutes of fame cost his 3 sons hundreds of millions.
這貨一直都是個小丑。媒體有點喜歡他，因為有收視率。他浪費掉了二球在UCLA歷練的機會，三球甚至都不一定進得了聯盟。創建BBB這個品牌純粹浪費時間，鮑爾當初本該拿下1億多的耐克球鞋合同，然後再像其他球員一樣投資創業型公司錢生錢。球爹想和耐克、阿迪這種公司競爭完全是浪費時間。再過些年，等到鮑爾能力下滑了，另外兩球甚至都不能在NBA打上一分鐘，咱們再回過頭來看看這個火速出名又極度渴望曝光度的球爹是怎麼把三個兒子賺大錢的機會揮霍掉的。
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來源：Reddit
編譯：雲長刮個痧